what's your name?

mama: hey, little dude, what's your full name?
little dude: gideon eugene GET OUT OF THAT BATHROOM!

swimming suits.

upon finding my kids in the backyard in buckets and random swimming suits...

mama: um...what's going on?
mia: gideon is wearing my swimming suit and he looks like a girl. and i fit into your suit.
mama: oh, ok.

she totally didn't fit in my suit. her bootie hung out the back. and yes, gideon looked like a girl.

snack

gideon: my penis is a snack.
mama: what was that, gideon?
gideon: i SAID... my penis. is. a snack! **sigh**
mama: oh, ok.

this time last year.

i had already been admitted and was hooked up to many an iv. the hospital was given strict instructions not to deliver this baby on valentines day. i wouldn't do that to my kid. it's in my file.

a year ago we were a family of three with no idea what kind of trouble we were in for. what kind of joy and heartache. the sleep deprivation like we'd never experienced. the joy of watching our kids love each other. the traveling nightmares. the giggles. on year. and our lives are completely different. no turning back.

the last time i updated this blog we didn't know about gideon's food allergies. we thought he was grumpy and moody and didn't sleep well and oh my god - what the hell?! and then we started feeding him solid foods. and things got worse. way worse. there was vomiting. and mucous stool. and no sleeping. and sadness. and skin reactions. turns out he's highly allergic to soy, dairy, peanuts. tree nuts, squash, tomatoes, bananas. and mildly allergic to a whole host of other things we're working on adding to his diet. it's been a hell of a ride. but sine we've eliminated these things from his (and my) diet we've met a whole new kid. sure, he still doesn't sleep - but he's HAPPY. and he's not afraid to eat anymore. every time i think about how he looked, how he cried, how he vomited in his sleep - it kills my heart a little. that it took us so long to figure it out. and yet, we figured it out and now he's just thriving.

siblings. i could not have hoped for a better relationship between my children. we braced ourselves for mia's jealousy once gideon became more active. was able to pull her hair and take toys from her (which he does). and so far it hasn't happened. she loves him so hard. takes all his abuse and only occasionally pushes him over. she hugs him and snuggles him and he pulls her hair and then tries to kiss her with his open mouth. they're friends. and i hope it lasts. they have each other forever. are more a part of each other than they are a part of either me or josh. i hope they learn that sooner than i did with my siblings.

so gideon at a year: he's still not walking but i think it's only because it takes too long to figure out right now. he's much faster on his hands and feet. hates having his diaper changed and needs restraining every. single. time. still no words. sounds, sure. but no words. no mama. all things are "da" except when he's all done eating - that's "a da". and come to think of it, he's traded in the signing for milk which changed to a clicking sound he used to tell me he wanted milk to saying "na" and signing "all done". so that's weird. and he's not sleeping through the night. at all. but whatever - we won't go there. he is getting into everything in the house that he's not supposed to, giggling as he bites my nipples, playing coy with every lady he meets, pretends to eat you as he goes to kisses you. because we eat him up so much. that's just the best. he has crazy wild hair that we won't be cutting anytime soon. he has 7 teeth.

i just. i can't imagine my life without him. but he's killing me slowly. he is, as mia says, TROUBLE. and we love it.

happy almost birthday, little man. happy valentine's day to 1/3 of my heart.

the best way to wake up.

now, we've not been getting much sleep for the past 6 months but it doesn't seem to matter once 6 (if we're lucky) rolls around. gideon stops chomping on the boob in a frantic manner and suddenly is awake. wide awake. with the giggles and the putting of his fingers in our mouths and rolling back and forth between us. and then we hear mia in the next room exclaiming, "hey guys, i made it light!" as she turns on her bug light. she's known how to do this for ages and ages but suddenly it's as though she's creating light from scratch and oh! what a miracle she's performing! and then there is family snuggling and giggling.

of course then we start in with the whining and the pooping and the rest of the things that will fill our day until nighttime. but those few minutes first thing in the morning? make the sleep deprivation worthwhile.

mooma nuba booba

mia is making up her own language these days. makes us all repeat it. speaks to her animals in tongues. her imagination is taking shape so beautifully these days. so big. so crazy. she makes "beds" all over the house with baby blankets, tucking us all in and singing us songs.

it's definitely something to do with the age, which i think is odd. i met her uncle, ze'ev when he was 2.5 and he was busily putting people to sleep. her friend "A" was doing the same thing when she was 2.5. josh and i both thought these were 2 of the funniest, most imaginiative, WEIRD little kids we'd ever met. and now we have one. it's pretty awesome.

she's also very shy right now. tells me she's going to be shy before we get to whatever event we're scheduled to. hides behind me for about 20 minutes and then lets loose with the crazy. typical toddler.

not so typical? she's weirded out by babies that aren't gideon. really weirded out. but when you really think about it? babies are weird. they stare, don't say anything, maybe babble unintelligibly, make sudden lunging movements before falling on their faces, are often covered in their own bodily fluids. i guess i forgot to tell josh how freaked out she was with the babies. he took her with him to drop gideon off at his class (per usual) when a 10 month old walked (yup) up to mia and squealed in her general direction. mia hid. nearly cried. stupid babies. hee.

breakthrough!

we have teeth, people. i repeat, we have teeth. and we hate them. they are evil and not really all that necessary.

so gideon's not a good sleeper. he's a sweet baby. he loves his mama (and her boobs) but he does not like to sleep alone. or without the boob. or while you sit. or for longer than 2.5 hours. that said...last week he started eating some rice cereal at night and lo! he slept! from 6:30 until between 1-3 in the morning. and then back down again until 6. it was miraculous. but then came saturday. saturday he decided that food was not only a waste of time but was disgusting as well. it's not a boob! and sleeping is also for babies. stupid babies who do not appreciate the boob. saturday night he was up every hour or so for a nibble and a cry. at 5 he was tired of talking happily to himself and nursing off and on. i felt a pinch, looked down and saw a happy, wide-eyed little boy stretching my nipple as far as he could and biting me with his very first tooth. "good morning mama, please wake up."

and so it began. there has since been little sleep. lots of crying. many fevers. and still no eating.

and tonight? tonight we have a stomach virus. i was laughing to myself as i wiped him down that josh and i used to wonder how we would know the difference between vomit and spitup with mia (mia who was never sick). ha! if you're wondering? it's not vomit.

debating with a toddler.

she'll win every time, i tell ya.

mia used to love cheese. only ate cheese. cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese. (of course she didn't poop for like a year but that's a different story) will she eat cheese now? no. "i don't like cheese, mama. when i'm grown up i will like it, but not now. i'm a little girl."

tonight i tried to explain to mia that there was cheese in her macaroni and cheese and that she liked to eat the cheese sauce so she likes cheese! no. no, she does NOT like cheese. she likes macaroni and cheese and that is made of the tiny cheese in the sauce. so there. no cheese for mia.