this time last year.

i had already been admitted and was hooked up to many an iv. the hospital was given strict instructions not to deliver this baby on valentines day. i wouldn't do that to my kid. it's in my file.

a year ago we were a family of three with no idea what kind of trouble we were in for. what kind of joy and heartache. the sleep deprivation like we'd never experienced. the joy of watching our kids love each other. the traveling nightmares. the giggles. on year. and our lives are completely different. no turning back.

the last time i updated this blog we didn't know about gideon's food allergies. we thought he was grumpy and moody and didn't sleep well and oh my god - what the hell?! and then we started feeding him solid foods. and things got worse. way worse. there was vomiting. and mucous stool. and no sleeping. and sadness. and skin reactions. turns out he's highly allergic to soy, dairy, peanuts. tree nuts, squash, tomatoes, bananas. and mildly allergic to a whole host of other things we're working on adding to his diet. it's been a hell of a ride. but sine we've eliminated these things from his (and my) diet we've met a whole new kid. sure, he still doesn't sleep - but he's HAPPY. and he's not afraid to eat anymore. every time i think about how he looked, how he cried, how he vomited in his sleep - it kills my heart a little. that it took us so long to figure it out. and yet, we figured it out and now he's just thriving.

siblings. i could not have hoped for a better relationship between my children. we braced ourselves for mia's jealousy once gideon became more active. was able to pull her hair and take toys from her (which he does). and so far it hasn't happened. she loves him so hard. takes all his abuse and only occasionally pushes him over. she hugs him and snuggles him and he pulls her hair and then tries to kiss her with his open mouth. they're friends. and i hope it lasts. they have each other forever. are more a part of each other than they are a part of either me or josh. i hope they learn that sooner than i did with my siblings.

so gideon at a year: he's still not walking but i think it's only because it takes too long to figure out right now. he's much faster on his hands and feet. hates having his diaper changed and needs restraining every. single. time. still no words. sounds, sure. but no words. no mama. all things are "da" except when he's all done eating - that's "a da". and come to think of it, he's traded in the signing for milk which changed to a clicking sound he used to tell me he wanted milk to saying "na" and signing "all done". so that's weird. and he's not sleeping through the night. at all. but whatever - we won't go there. he is getting into everything in the house that he's not supposed to, giggling as he bites my nipples, playing coy with every lady he meets, pretends to eat you as he goes to kisses you. because we eat him up so much. that's just the best. he has crazy wild hair that we won't be cutting anytime soon. he has 7 teeth.

i just. i can't imagine my life without him. but he's killing me slowly. he is, as mia says, TROUBLE. and we love it.

happy almost birthday, little man. happy valentine's day to 1/3 of my heart.