pregnancy - 24 weeks

i'm a lot bigger this time around than i was with mia. and people can't seem to stop telling me as much. though they are kind enough to note that i don't have a fat face yet. isn't that sweet?

this baby seems to move around a lot more than mia did. josh tells me i'm imagining things because he remembers me telling him every single time mia moved. but she never moved at night and this one does. so i guess that's the difference. mia slept at night. still does. does that mean this one will be up all the time? god help us.

i'm starting to get really worried about having a baby in the house. i was never worried really worried with mia. i mean, it came and went but down deep i knew i would be ok. and as soon as she was born and in my arms i knew all i needed to know and would be able to take care of her completely. so far i'm not feeling that with this one. as a matter of fact i'm scared to have a tiny baby in the house. what do you do with babies again? i'm toddler conditioned now.

i've never been one to grab an infant out of someone's arms. never one that "had to hold the baby". but yesterday i fond myself reaching out for 3 month old baby - testing myself. it didn't last long. the baby, though cute and cuddly, was squirmy and bendy and couldn't hold itself up. then it started to whimper and then cry. "ok, here you go" and i handed him off to someone. anyone.

holy crap, i'm having a baby. just when i was getting comfortable with the toddler thing.