sleep talking.

"I LIKE COOL STUFF!!" screams gideon, in a stone cold sleep.

so we went to disneyland.

before i forget all the little things...

we didn't try to go early and there was no rush to our day. we were staying at the park and knew we'd have time to do whatever we wanted to do. the "plan" was to go to the park when we got there and do the pool the next day. the pool with 3 water slides that we didn't tell the kids about. we didn't tell the kids about anything, actually.

we checked in and were surprised by an upgraded room. a one bedroom suite overlooking the pool and from which we could see fireworks at night. in the bedroom the headboard was one big thing over both beds with the park and fireworks done up in led lights set into wood. you could press a button to play "when you wish upon a star". amazing. we stared at the pool. and decided to skip the park that day. we spent the next few hours in the pool and hot tub. on the slides over and over. heaven. when we made it back to the room with our DVDs checked out from the lounge the kids crawled into bed and watched the 3 Caballeros until the boys passed out. Mia got her giggle on and we watched the fireworks and ate brownies Kate brought back from the lounge. And lemon bars. So. Many. Lemon bars. Then Fantasia and sleep. Followed by kids falling out of bed and switching beds and snoring and wiggling.

The "plan" to get up early and hit the park before general admission began was quickly abandoned. We slept in and barely made the check out time. We ate and lazed on over to the park around noon. Gideon hit a wall and we got a stroller right away. Mia was a champ. And ready to ride.

First we hit It's a Small World. Magic. Mia sang and we all sat in wonder (cheeeeeeesy!!) and enjoyed the AC. Then we made the mistake of doing the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Fail. After a longer than promised wait Gideon, 4.5, had the same reaction I had at that age. Terror. Screaming. Hated every second except the giant floating head of Blackbeard. And that ride? Is really long. Mia was clutching her chest and saying "I've been shot again!" And while funny...it wasn't helpful. Ha.

After the breakdown and escape from the pirate cave we found Kate and Elliott in the restaurant where they had claimed a booth and scoped the menu. Kate is amazing. A good reset button pusher.

We rode the flying rockets - even Gideon! There were no tears or freak outs. We went up and down without incident. Elliott fell asleep as soon as we were back in the strollers and on the go. We headed straight for Space Mountain with our Fast Passes. And that's when Gideon lost his shit. So tired, that one. He didn't want me to leave because he "wouldn't have anyone to snuggle!" Um..we weren't snuggling while he was in the stroller. Only so much a little man can take. But Kate is, as I've said, amazing. Mia and I ran off while Gideon stayed with Kate and her magical phone of wonder. Holy, did Mia ever have a good time. I couldn't hear or see her until the end of the ride and honestly? I have never seen her smile so big - her eyes so wide. Unfortunately you couldn't see her head at all in the photo. We ran back to Gideon and then Kate took her on one more time. Such goodness.

Off to Toon Town! Elliott was still asleep so Kate rested in Goofy's Garden and the kids and I explored all the houses. And then? Then we got to meet Mickey. Or as Gideon calls him, Mick. Oh man. That boy was so excited. You could feel it coming off of him. Mia tried not to be as excited as she was but she was in wonder, too. Pictures will be ordered. Mia and I rode the Roger Rabbit roller coaster and then we were all done. Hard to believe that's all we really did but that's it. We wandered and snacked and bought some souvenirs and were in the car (valet at the hotel) by 8:30. Easy Peasy Perfect.

Disney and cousins and swimming, oh my!

Suddenly it's mid-2011, Mia is about to start 2nd grade, Gideon is about to start kindergarten (1st of 2 years due to his birthday) and life is just...well it's changing fast around here so I figured it was time to start keeping track of it all in one place again.

The kids and I are visiting family in SoCal and are blessed with family that will take us in and share in the wealth that is the Disney Employee Discount. We stayed at the Disneyland Hotel in an amazing suite overlooking the pools. We watched the fireworks from the room (just the girls since the boys passed out while watching Fantasia. We gorged on desserts and snacks in the lounge. Good times.

We have been living it up in the pool, napping until late in the day, giggling and giggling.

Yesterday while Gideon was napping he rolled over and exclaimed "I like cool stuff!" and was out again. It's true, he does like cool stuff.

Saturday is the little cousin's birthday party (3! He will be 3!) and then sunday it's back to reality for a little bit. Still summer...not completely reality...but not vacation.

what's your name?

mama: hey, little dude, what's your full name?
little dude: gideon eugene GET OUT OF THAT BATHROOM!

swimming suits.

upon finding my kids in the backyard in buckets and random swimming suits...

mama: um...what's going on?
mia: gideon is wearing my swimming suit and he looks like a girl. and i fit into your suit.
mama: oh, ok.

she totally didn't fit in my suit. her bootie hung out the back. and yes, gideon looked like a girl.

snack

gideon: my penis is a snack.
mama: what was that, gideon?
gideon: i SAID... my penis. is. a snack! **sigh**
mama: oh, ok.

this time last year.

i had already been admitted and was hooked up to many an iv. the hospital was given strict instructions not to deliver this baby on valentines day. i wouldn't do that to my kid. it's in my file.

a year ago we were a family of three with no idea what kind of trouble we were in for. what kind of joy and heartache. the sleep deprivation like we'd never experienced. the joy of watching our kids love each other. the traveling nightmares. the giggles. on year. and our lives are completely different. no turning back.

the last time i updated this blog we didn't know about gideon's food allergies. we thought he was grumpy and moody and didn't sleep well and oh my god - what the hell?! and then we started feeding him solid foods. and things got worse. way worse. there was vomiting. and mucous stool. and no sleeping. and sadness. and skin reactions. turns out he's highly allergic to soy, dairy, peanuts. tree nuts, squash, tomatoes, bananas. and mildly allergic to a whole host of other things we're working on adding to his diet. it's been a hell of a ride. but sine we've eliminated these things from his (and my) diet we've met a whole new kid. sure, he still doesn't sleep - but he's HAPPY. and he's not afraid to eat anymore. every time i think about how he looked, how he cried, how he vomited in his sleep - it kills my heart a little. that it took us so long to figure it out. and yet, we figured it out and now he's just thriving.

siblings. i could not have hoped for a better relationship between my children. we braced ourselves for mia's jealousy once gideon became more active. was able to pull her hair and take toys from her (which he does). and so far it hasn't happened. she loves him so hard. takes all his abuse and only occasionally pushes him over. she hugs him and snuggles him and he pulls her hair and then tries to kiss her with his open mouth. they're friends. and i hope it lasts. they have each other forever. are more a part of each other than they are a part of either me or josh. i hope they learn that sooner than i did with my siblings.

so gideon at a year: he's still not walking but i think it's only because it takes too long to figure out right now. he's much faster on his hands and feet. hates having his diaper changed and needs restraining every. single. time. still no words. sounds, sure. but no words. no mama. all things are "da" except when he's all done eating - that's "a da". and come to think of it, he's traded in the signing for milk which changed to a clicking sound he used to tell me he wanted milk to saying "na" and signing "all done". so that's weird. and he's not sleeping through the night. at all. but whatever - we won't go there. he is getting into everything in the house that he's not supposed to, giggling as he bites my nipples, playing coy with every lady he meets, pretends to eat you as he goes to kisses you. because we eat him up so much. that's just the best. he has crazy wild hair that we won't be cutting anytime soon. he has 7 teeth.

i just. i can't imagine my life without him. but he's killing me slowly. he is, as mia says, TROUBLE. and we love it.

happy almost birthday, little man. happy valentine's day to 1/3 of my heart.

the best way to wake up.

now, we've not been getting much sleep for the past 6 months but it doesn't seem to matter once 6 (if we're lucky) rolls around. gideon stops chomping on the boob in a frantic manner and suddenly is awake. wide awake. with the giggles and the putting of his fingers in our mouths and rolling back and forth between us. and then we hear mia in the next room exclaiming, "hey guys, i made it light!" as she turns on her bug light. she's known how to do this for ages and ages but suddenly it's as though she's creating light from scratch and oh! what a miracle she's performing! and then there is family snuggling and giggling.

of course then we start in with the whining and the pooping and the rest of the things that will fill our day until nighttime. but those few minutes first thing in the morning? make the sleep deprivation worthwhile.

mooma nuba booba

mia is making up her own language these days. makes us all repeat it. speaks to her animals in tongues. her imagination is taking shape so beautifully these days. so big. so crazy. she makes "beds" all over the house with baby blankets, tucking us all in and singing us songs.

it's definitely something to do with the age, which i think is odd. i met her uncle, ze'ev when he was 2.5 and he was busily putting people to sleep. her friend "A" was doing the same thing when she was 2.5. josh and i both thought these were 2 of the funniest, most imaginiative, WEIRD little kids we'd ever met. and now we have one. it's pretty awesome.

she's also very shy right now. tells me she's going to be shy before we get to whatever event we're scheduled to. hides behind me for about 20 minutes and then lets loose with the crazy. typical toddler.

not so typical? she's weirded out by babies that aren't gideon. really weirded out. but when you really think about it? babies are weird. they stare, don't say anything, maybe babble unintelligibly, make sudden lunging movements before falling on their faces, are often covered in their own bodily fluids. i guess i forgot to tell josh how freaked out she was with the babies. he took her with him to drop gideon off at his class (per usual) when a 10 month old walked (yup) up to mia and squealed in her general direction. mia hid. nearly cried. stupid babies. hee.

breakthrough!

we have teeth, people. i repeat, we have teeth. and we hate them. they are evil and not really all that necessary.

so gideon's not a good sleeper. he's a sweet baby. he loves his mama (and her boobs) but he does not like to sleep alone. or without the boob. or while you sit. or for longer than 2.5 hours. that said...last week he started eating some rice cereal at night and lo! he slept! from 6:30 until between 1-3 in the morning. and then back down again until 6. it was miraculous. but then came saturday. saturday he decided that food was not only a waste of time but was disgusting as well. it's not a boob! and sleeping is also for babies. stupid babies who do not appreciate the boob. saturday night he was up every hour or so for a nibble and a cry. at 5 he was tired of talking happily to himself and nursing off and on. i felt a pinch, looked down and saw a happy, wide-eyed little boy stretching my nipple as far as he could and biting me with his very first tooth. "good morning mama, please wake up."

and so it began. there has since been little sleep. lots of crying. many fevers. and still no eating.

and tonight? tonight we have a stomach virus. i was laughing to myself as i wiped him down that josh and i used to wonder how we would know the difference between vomit and spitup with mia (mia who was never sick). ha! if you're wondering? it's not vomit.

debating with a toddler.

she'll win every time, i tell ya.

mia used to love cheese. only ate cheese. cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese. (of course she didn't poop for like a year but that's a different story) will she eat cheese now? no. "i don't like cheese, mama. when i'm grown up i will like it, but not now. i'm a little girl."

tonight i tried to explain to mia that there was cheese in her macaroni and cheese and that she liked to eat the cheese sauce so she likes cheese! no. no, she does NOT like cheese. she likes macaroni and cheese and that is made of the tiny cheese in the sauce. so there. no cheese for mia.

the gideon update.

my sweet boy.



at nearly 4 months old he:

* has the best giggle
* loves it when i drag my hair over his face and it takes his breath away
* complains with his deep little voice the moment he wets his diaper or is hungry - he's very serious and grumbly
* chews on anything and everything he can but prefers my fingers. teeth should be making their way in the mext month, i think.
* has fuzzy hair that grows straight up and then curls back on the ends. curly hair to come?
* is a total boob man. it took weeks before he finally agreed to take a bottle and i'm sure he's not happy about it. he would love it if i would let him sleep with my nipple in his mouth all night long. and sometimes i do.
* had the most edible parts. mia eas munching his cheeks the other day and informed me that they were "spicy!" and she needed her drink right away. his toes, however, taste like jelly beans.
* still won't sleep through the night. after an initial 4-5 hours he's up ever 2 hours like clockwork after that.
* has rolled over exactly 4 times front to back. shows no signs of wanting to do that again.
* has the best milk breath
* kicks and giggles like a madman when he's happy. which is a lot.
* is getting more tolerant of the carseat.
* thinks his sister is the most interesting creature in the world.

he no longer feels like a squishy baby in my arms and is heading to boyhood at an alarming rate.

still here. busier than ever.

the last few months have been so hectic. we were in albuquerque for 3 weeks visiting friends and family. the visit was both really long and way too short. 3 weeks is a long time to be away from your house with 2 small children but not long enough to catch up after a year away.

we stayed with my parents and mia and gideon shared the walk-in closet of the guest room. people think we're nuts for putting our kids in a closet for 3 weeks but i can assure you that they loved it. their own quiet space in an otherwise crazy household? they were in heaven once they settled in.

we had weddings and graduations to attend and the kids were superstars. mia is still pretending to be a "congratulations girl" (pretending to graduate like her uncles did).

mia fell in love all over again with her uncles and aunt. and it was amazing to watch them play with her. she tells me almost daily that she misses them, how much she loves them, and that they should come and visit her. and because her cousin, anthony, couldn't make it to grandma's to visit like we promised her she reminds me that she didn't get to play with "my cousin antony" and that she misses him.

her great-grandma moser gave her the softest teddy bear ever and she has been snuggling it non-stop. she also taught mia to give "smackeroos!" and that's what we get instead of kisses now. a month later and still with the smackeroos!

gideon spent most of his vacation on his back in the middle of an old ottoman, watching the world go by. josh and my dad would play the wii while standign over him and gideon would go nuts kickign and giggling with grandpa. fast friends, those 2. he even got a lesson on debating. sigh...

we came home with 2 weeks of maternity leave left. 2 weeks to soak up the kids and get out as much as we could before we were locked back into a real schedule. 2 weeks to get gideon to take a bottle.

i never dreaded coming back to work when i had mia. i knew i had to, knew she'd be ok at daycare and wasn't all that concerned. with gideon i knew what i was going to be missing and dreaded the end of every day because it brought us one day closer to the end of my leave. and gideon still wasn't taking a bottle.

we started the daycare/work routine on a friday just to test the waters and it's a good thing we did. mia had a great time - was beyond excited to get back to her friends. not gideon. gideon refused the bottle. refused to nap. we both cried. and as i sat there nursing him on my lunch break i looked around the room and realized that these tiny babies? they were going to be his friends one day. that he was going to grow up here. learn to roll* and crawl and walk and talk and play with other kids. these kids. he was growing up right before my eyes.

so that's where we're at. back to the grind.

* gideon did roll over for me right before he went back to daycare. but hasn't since and that's just fine with me.

grandma is here!

we talk to my mom every day on the phone. i'm sure she's sick of hearing from us all at this point but she still came to visit us for a week (and is taking us back with her for 3 weeks). mia jumped all over her right away and hasn't stopped with the "grandma grandma grandma!" it's as though they see each other all the time. i hope we manage to catch some of their connection in pictures over the next couple of weeks. it's fun to watch mia when my mom does something that mia thought only i did. i play with mia just the way my mom played with me. sing the same songs. tell the same stupid jokes. so thanks, grandma, for making me a good mom. teaching me the fun and the love to share with my kids. grandmas. they are awesome.

in other news - gideon's been here for 9 weeks now. can you believe it? probably. but i can't. as of this week he is 13 lbs. 15 ozs. holy crap. mia was 14 lbs. 4 ozs. at 4 months.

mia-isms

#1

mia: i have a question.
dad: what is your question mia?
mia: don't talk about ducks.

#2

not today daddy, maybe tomorrow (while shaking her finger at you).

where do the days go?

i'm not quite sure how over a month has gone by since last we checked in here. i'll do my best to record the things that have happened. the things that have changed. and the things that make my heart stop every day.

mia - a month in review

she's 2.5 years old now. pretty soon she won't be a toddler anymore. she's a big girl now and she'll be the first to tell you that. i thought that she might regress a bit more than she has. that she would want more cuddling and babying. but no. i even try and tell her that she's my baby girl. that she can be a big girl and still be my baby. she's not buying it.

she's throwing a lot more tantrums these days but i think that is more a combination of the boredom of being at home all day, knowing more of what SHE wants and trying to assert her independence.

the hilight of the year so far as been going to a wiggles concert. that's right. a wiggles concert. and oh my god! did we ever have a good time! josh got 2nd row tickets for us and our friends, conchita and josie. it was so funny watching the girls try and figure out what the hell was going on. it took 15 minutes or so to get them to stop looking at the giant tv screen and realize that THE WIGGLES ARE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! it was the best concert ever.

she's non-stop with the talking. non-stop. it's pure crazy making most days. but oh, her imagination! it's really getting fun to listen to her play in her room or talk to gideon while i'm out of the room. right now i have to fight with her every day to go to the park as she would rather spend an hour in her "pretend park" (her room) making castles and serving me wooden sushi for lunch.

the holidays have come and gone for the spring season, too. we had a nice passover with seders at both josh's parents' house and a friends' house. matzah everywhere! we spent easter alone at the house and josh made sure that mia had an easter basket and hunt of her very own (while gideon slept inside). photos are on flickr - please cruise on over there if you get a chance.

gideon - a month in review

in 2 days my baby boy will be 2 months old. he is already not quite as schlumpy and squishy as a newborn. holding his head up more and more throughout the day. he's strong as an ox. kicking and trashing his arms about. my fierce little warrior. just thinking about how quickly he's growing makes me tear up.

his baby acne went from bad to worse to terrible cradle cap that spread to his face and ears. i think he might have mild excema, nothing terrible, but still, no fun. the acne has cleared up. the cradle cap comes on in spurts and we're keeping the rash to a minimum by not letting him get too hot. but still, his face isn't baby smooth. he's a guy, what can i say?

at 5 weeks he started smiling on his own. by 6 weeks it was all about mama. and now he's giggling, screeching with joy (as well as shrieking when unhappy) and responding to tickles from his big sister and i. and what makes him laugh the most? filling 3 diapers in a row (waiting until the next one is on before pooping again, of course) and peeing all over the wall, changing table and himself). because that? is hilarious.

he loves baths. either on his own on the floor of the tub or floating with me in the deep water. and for a moment afterwards, while josh lathers him with lotion, he is soft.

he hates being in the car when the car isn't moving. initially he hated being in the car at all because he was in the infant car seat (at the highest setting) but we took him out of that really fast and put him in the same car seat that mia's in and he's like a fat man in a lazy boy. comfy and happy. as long as we're moving, that is.

he loves being in the pouch. all curled up tight against my chest. carrying him in the pouch and nursing him to sleep are the two things i will miss most when he's grown.

also loving? the stroller. we have this awesome phil & ted's stroller where he gets to lay down, unrestrained, and either sleep or look up at me while i push him. it's awesome.

he's not sleeping through night yet. it's not killing me yet but soon it will be. one can only take 3 hour stretches of sleep at a time for so long. it's gotten a lot better since we moved him into his own room, though. that's right, people. he's in his own room. it started with me not being able to sleep with him in my armpit anymore. so we moved him to the mini co-sleeper attached to the bed. but he was too big. everytime he thrashed about he would end up with his face pressed against the side and try to nurse. and get pissed off. and scream. and end up in my armpit again. but oh, he's loud. and he trashes about. so for 2-3 hours we'd lay there awake while he slept loudly and violently between us until 20 minutes before he needed to eat again. so yeah. he's in his own room now. we had to buy a velcro swaddling blanket for him because he's too big and strong to hold in a recieving blanket. and now he's happy and quiet and in his own room. it's funny that i would have felt terribly guilty with putting mia in her room so fast (she didn't go in her crib for 4.5 months) but i don't here. i'm much more realistic. he's happy and asleep. i'm getting 3 hours now. all is good.

so that's it. a month in review with tons and tons of stuff that i missed, i'm sure.

week 3

week 3 has brought us:

* smiles for mama.
* the worst baby acne i've ever seen.
* more awake time.
* more eating!
* already growing out of clothes
* baby hair as soft as a chick's feathers is starting to fall out in patches
* no more stump (actually fell out exactly 14 days after birth - same as mia)
* the beginnings of cooing and not just screaming
* swaddling at night - he still freaks out when asleep, flailing and punching mama in the face. good times.
* nicknames (for parents only!!). we agreed on his name with the condition that nicknames not be allowed. no "gid" or "giddy" would be tolerated. and then i started calling him "bubba" (what?! he's BIG) and then josh started calling him "bubba gid". you (yes, this means YOU) are not allowed to call him this. thank you :)

dimples for everyone!

i don't really think or care about who my kids look like. as a matter of fact, it annoys me to no end when people pick apart their features. they are their own people. they look like THEM. they have their own special mix of genes and don't really look like anyone in particular. they have their own very distinct personalities. they are awesome and they are all their own.

but. dimples.

one of the few things i have always liked about myself and secretly hoped my kids would have. mia has them on the back of both shoulders (as do i) and gideon has a deep one right in the middle of his fat little right cheek (mine is on the left). do they look like me? no. do they look alike? no. but they have the dimples. and they have each other.

mia logic.

mia: i have a question.
me: what's your question, mia?
mia: don't touch my stuff. what's my next question, mom?

mia: i have an idea.
me: what's your idea, mia?
mia: don't eat my snack.

bye, daddy.

today was josh's first day back at work. our first day without daddy around to play, change diapers and help out. we were lonely but it actually went ok. and we even had to leave the house.

my first time leaving the house with 2 kids and we all returned home unscathed. we went to a dr. appt. downtown (which required a whole parking deal and multiple trips in the elevator) and a trip to the park. all before lunch. we even all got naps in before we started on household chores. pretty successful, i think. maybe not so fun for mia - but not terrible, either.

and josh? well the last time i talked to him he said that yes, of course he missed us, but it was much easier to be really busy at work than be at home with me and the kids. duh.